Dear Reader:
Brooke took this picture as we left my surgeon’s office yesterday afternoon. It literally took me several hours to take in the report Dr. Litton gave back to me. I kept pinching myself….a case of reality sprinkled with hope and continued miracles.
I still have breast cancer…the only difference is now I know where it has been ” the past three years” while on my “miracle” medication…in my left breast where it started eight years ago. However the difference is….the margins were clear! This means that the breast cancer is “contained” and has not spread to other areas since starting the new medication. My oncologist and I refer to my medicine as the catalyst that keeps my ‘little c’ at bay. We simply know now that the cancer is literally located there…at the “bay.”
We have come full circle. A medicine, originally, intended for another type of cancer is keeping my breast cancer in check…not completely eliminated…but in check…It has done so for over three years when all other options were gone. Dr. Litton said to ‘keep on keeping on’ the way I have… enjoying life to the fullest.
I can not begin to thank Brooke enough for accompanying me to this important appointment….she took me to the first surgeon’s appointment that did not go well eight years ago… I was diagnosed immediately with breast cancer and surgery was set up in 24 hours. Brooke said when I walked out, that time, I looked like a “shell-shocked” soldier and all the light had gone out of my eyes.
This time my eyes were lit up and I proudly announced “Clear margins” to Brooke in the waiting room! (Now I have clear eyes and clear margins…grandmother was right about ‘good things happen in threes.’) Two other women, sitting across from us, clapped their hands and one said “Praise God for He is good” while her friend said “Holy Jesus!” Amen to both!
Suddenly I was starving…..it was time to celebrate…we went to Oscars for a beer and h’oeuvres! Best beer I ever tasted and best food…an appetite for life increases when faced with the reality of its fragility!
So bring on Jakie’s and my birthdays next Saturday…a party down day! A celebration of life for us both.
I, once again, enter the ranks of millions of individuals who are living with cancer, thanks to research and modern medicine. Our lives are being extended so as to watch our families grow and share in their ups and downs while love and hope abounds. We race for the cure every minute of every day.
I apologize if I didn’t get back to some of you yesterday afternoon or last night….After letting the children and family know, close friends, neighbors...I hit a wall. I haven’t slept that well lately (hummm…wonder why?) and suddenly I couldn’t keep my eyes open….slept on and off most of the afternoon and evening.
There will never be a doubt in my mind that it was your prayers that kept those margins clear….as Cherry called you…the powerful prayer warriors. Powerful beyond belief! The gift of time, however long, has been extended, again, for me.
The breast cancer and I have learned, somehow, to co-exist, and as long as it continues to stay “put” this relationship continues for, however, long God deems. Each day becomes even more precious… so right now, this very moment, I am still “in the game called life” and that is all that matters. Batter up! WE hit a homerun yesterday!!
Mev said she found herself humming one of her favorite hymns yesterday morning “Through It All” while saying a prayer for me.” It made her feel better but she wasn’t sure her pups appreciated her “morning voice.” (“Through it all I’ve loved to trust in Jesus, through it all I’ve learned to trust in love.”)
Anne saw a rainbow spread across the sky first thing yesterday morning, as well as, my niece, Carrie, on her way to school…and both thought it was a God Wink in the making. It was!
Pam sent me an illustrated card of a rainbow for good luck.
…And Stephanie sent a super-hero costume picture….I think Rutledge, Captain America, would be jealous if I wore it. After all, I would have a turbo charged tutu! Hard to compete against that…
So until tomorrow…thank you God for tomorrows! My continued goal is to take each one and make the most of it in God’s honor.
“Today is my favorite day” Winnie the Pooh
*Tommy didn’t want to spoil my good news yesterday so he waited until after I had contacted the family with my joyful revelation, to release the sad news that Rudy died yesterday morning.
Life is made up of good and evil, life and death and sometimes, it seems, they balance out in strange, coincidental ways.
While I was winning one more battle in the on-going “Eight Years War” yesterday…Rudy’s fight ended…with honors!
This brave little dog ignored all the vet’s predictions about his cancer and very limited time on earth. He just decided that he wasn’t ready to go any time soon. He wanted to be the ring bearer to present the engagement band to Kaitlyn from Tommy…. the two people he loved most in the world. And he was there! He lived a year past the original prognosis last Labor Day -(being given three or four months tops.)
We always hugged because there was a special bond between us…we were both living with cancer and fighting every day to stay. I, always, sensed that Rudy knew I had cancer and that we were soul mates in the fight against it. Rudy was my canine mentor whose courage, perseverance, and unconditional love knew no bounds or limits. I will miss you my brave comrade-in-fur!
